Am I depressed and what should I do?Mon, Jan 5th 2009
I am 19 years old, I'm starting my second year at university in February. About a year ago I came out to my mom and some friends, and told them I'm gay. Everyone has been ok with it so far, but for some reason, I feel they shouldn't be. I feel like I should be punished for being gay, although I know that there's nothing I can do about it. My mom has been really supportive, and I love her for that. My parents are divorced and I have no intention of telling my dad that I'm gay. I've never had the relationship that I would really like with my dad. I blame him for the divorce because he cheated on my mom. Some days it just feels like things in my life are too much. People expect too much of me. I'm not doing as well as I want to in my studies. My girlfriend and I broke up and then I fell for another girl and things between us aren't working out either because she has hang ups over her ex. The thing I do to protect myself from all the feelings and hurt I have, is that I sleep. If I'm not on campus or at work I'm usually asleep. Or I'm out partying with friends. That way I just forget about all the hurt. My friends think that I'm the happiest person alive because I'm always smiling and pretending that my life is great. Am I depressed? What should I do to feel better about myself and be truly happy?
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